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Feb 28th, 2010 | By Heber Dolphy | Category: News, Politics



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Government Risks Falling … Over.

A National Capital Commission memo has revealed the real reason for Prime Minister Harper’s sudden prorogation of Parliament.  The memo concerns the structural viability of the Parliament Buildings themselves.  “Even though we are in a minority situation there has been a massive increase in the load on the

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Government side of the house.  The addition of Mike Duffy to the Senate may have put the buildings themselves in jeopardy,” reads the January 10 memo.  “Without Denis Coderre on the opposition benches, the place would likely have tipped over months ago.”

It is not the first time that the weight of the Conservative Government has been scrutinized. In November 2009, tweeted comments by Liberal MP Michelle Simson about the weight of Conservative MP Dean “the Calzone” Del Mastro resulted in Ms. Simson apologizing to the House.  A Conservative Party member, speaking off the record, offered that the Harper Government had long seen the problem coming.  “The Prime Minister took the matter in hand before the last election. He adjusted his diet and medication and ditched a lot of poundage.  Unfortunately not everyone in caucus followed his lead. Peter “Cargo” Van Loan has glandular and buffet issues. Just look at the ass on Jason Kenney”.

Contacted by URNews, Capital Commission officials would neither confirm nor deny that the House of Parliament was listing or in danger of tipping. Confronted by an engineering study that costed lancing and draining Senator Duffy as a means of stabilizing the Government, Commission officials said they still had to await an environmental impact statement about such a measure.

— Coco Cabrera

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