Lib MPs Too Dumb for Thinkfest

Most do not meet minimum standards of intelligence for participants

Mar 26th, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Politics

"But I wants to learn to be thinking gooder."

Liberal Party Members of Parliament have been asked to stay away from the upcoming “Thinkers Conference” because most do not meet  minimum standards of intelligence for participants.

“I don’t see this as a problem,” said a Party spokesman.  “This was always billed as a meeting of top minds, most Liberal MPs are just ordinary folk.   We wouldn’t ask a plumber to fix a nuclear reactor, why should we ask Gerard Kennedy to run the state.”

MP Kennedy, though uninvited, is one of those Liberal MPs determined to attend whether welcome or not, “I’m no super-dooper brainiac or anything, sure I knows that.” said Kennedy, “But I wants to learn to be thinking gooder.”

Attendees will be subjected to “skill testing” questions  some of which are rumoured to require long division.  “They have to write the letter requesting registration by themselves,” said the spokesman. “They can’t have their E.A.s writing it for them.”

The current Liberal caucus is known to have only two “thinkers”.  It has six “utter losers”, a couple of mouth-breathers and many opportunists.  Michael Ignatieff has been asked to attend because he says the conference was his idea.

Share this!