Polish Vaccine Mix-Up

Mar 1st, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Featured, Sports

Own Goal To Get Better

Members of the Toronto Maple Leafs who “skipped the line” to receive H1N1 vaccine in November may have mistakenly been given “losing serum”.

“In the rush to have them vaccinated it appears they were given the wrong shot,” said an unnamed Leaf official.

“K6Y9 Krakow Bovine” is a serum developed in Poland that causes the recipient to under-perform almost all intellectual and motor functions.  The compound effect of physical clumsiness and a profound lack of mental acuity almost always causes those receiving the vaccine to fail at whatever task they attempt.

Former Liberal Leader John Turner’s halting speech is a result of a very brief exposure to K6Y9 during a hospital visit.  Former Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman, mistaking it for grapefruit juice, drank a large vial of the vaccine on January 12, 1999.

– Coco Cabrera

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