Dodgy MP Breathes Sigh of Relief

Audit would have exposed Al Barbaro

May 15th, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Politics

Conservative Member of Parliament for the riding of Etobicoke South Center, Al Barbaro, expressed relief yesterday over his fellow Members’ decision to prohibit Auditor General Sheila Fraser from examining their expenses.  “That was close,” said Barbaro, a shiny film of perspiration on his forehead. “Some poor saps in the Newfie legislature went to the big house for less than what I’ve done … wait … that didn’t come out right.”

Barbaro is one among many MPs of questionable integrity whose spending will escape the scrutiny of the Auditor General. “Is she, like, a real General?” wondered Barbaro.

Member for Etobicoke South Center

“I’ve been lucky until now,” said Barbaro, “I just squeaked by in the last election. I won’t win the next one.  I have to think of my future. I got support payments and I owe Raheem some serious dough for … wait … can we cut out that last part?”

Barbaro has been using his staff and office to drum up support for a line of “green energy thingies” he hopes to sell to Government agencies soon after he is turfed by constituents who found him lazy and unavailable.  None of the promises Barbaro made during the last election campaign have been fulfilled. “In the excitement of the campaign you say things that maybe you shouldn’t have.” Finding investors for his green energy scheme, which harvests gas from magic beans, has required much travel, fine dining and, in one instance, the use of two prostitutes.

“Keeping the spending under wraps was a decision by all the parties, okay?  It’s not just me, okay?  Heavy guys from the Liberals and the NDP, even the Bloc,they made it clear that we were not supposed to talk about it.  So I’m not talking about it. Omertà, right?”

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