More Women Available to Breed

Science hard for girls

May 20th, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Featured

Conservative spokesperson Dunning Kruger has weighed in on the controversy over the absence of women among those recently awarded Canada Excellence Research Chairs.  Nineteen leading scientists were named to  the prestigious posts, all of the them having a penis.  “Woman are bad at math,” said Kruger, “and back when I was in university you had to have decent math to be a scientist.”  Kruger also suggested that “book learning” and “long hours bent over a microscope” would keep many women preoccupied during their peak breeding season.

“God knows if I had a uterus I’d be putting it to work for Canada and Jesus,” said Kruger. “The women that didn’t get these chairs are lucky, they’ll get to stay home with the kids.”

Dunning Kruger’s view that the matter is a trivial one is not shared by Conservative Party insiders who admit the optics are not good. “This was never a risk worth taking,” said an unnamed source. “The sciences are full of intellectuals.  Courting that part of the electorate is a waste of time.  Most Conservatives know that everything you need to know is in the Bible.”

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