New National Securities Agency

National to mean Toronto

May 26th, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: News

Finance Minister Jim Flaherty today revealed plans for a new national agency to better facilitate the transfer of wealth from Canada’s general population to a small Toronto elite.  The plan would see the end of provincial securities regulatory bodies.  “Under the current set-up, people are being fleeced out of their savings in every which way,” said industry spokesperson Garreth Jenning. “Now the flimflammery of the equity markets will be rubber-stamped by one national agency. Less noisy rubber-stamping this way.”

Little Jimmy Flaherty

The move is seen as rationalizing what has essentially been a one-way flow of money from all parts of Canada to a select group of people in Toronto.  “Some money was taken and dished out to rich people in Vancouver and Calgary and Montreal along the way, but really the heart of the operation is Toronto.”

Under a so-called “securities operation,” money from institutional pension funds or RRSPs is placed in large equity pools, ostensibly to invest in companies so that they might continue or expand their operation.  Those promoting the scheme typically promise huge returns to the investor without ever conveying possible costs or risk.  Tremendous portions of the money pool are skimmed by those brokering the deals and the executives of the companies receiving the capital.  “It’s more transparent that you’re paying for some Toronto executive’s luxurious lifestyle if the agency facilitating the transfer of your wealth is closer to those executives receiving it.”

The term “national” is used to explain the mechanism to the general public but it is understood in financial circles to mean “Toronto”.

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