Baird Announces Tower to Heaven

Conservative Inland Sea

Jun 8th, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Politics

Pressed by URNews, unnamed officials in the office of Minister of Transport John Baird have conceded that the $2 million artificial “Lake Harper” being created for the $2,000,000,000.00 + G20 circle-jerk and photo-op is a prototype for larger inland sea being envisaged by The Leader.

CPC HQ

“It has always been this government’s plan to remake Canada,” said the anonymous spokesperson. “Ideologically, socially, fiscally and physically.”

A dominant feature of the new man-made “Sea of Alberta” will be an island serving as a base for an enormous “tower to heaven,” celebrating the glory of the Conservative Party.

The patent absurdity of creating an artificial lake immediately adjacent Lake Ontario had baffled political watchers.  It is now thought to have been a test case for engineers and to measure the Canadian public’s tolerance for having their money spent on so-called “New Canada” projects by the Harper Government.

“There was some minor push back,” said the the spokesperson. “It lasted a news cycle.  Canadians are happy to let this Government do whatever it likes.”

The appearance of the tower is a closely guarded secret.  It is said to have been designed by Leader Harper himself, privately, in the basement of 24 Sussex, using only gauze and plaster.

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