Shake-up in North Korea
Head Numbnut Plays Shell Game with CabinetJun 7th, 2010 | By Paul Moth | Category: News
“Stern guidance is needed in this time of uncertainty,” said Kim Jong-il, spokesman for the Supreme People’s Assembly. “Our rulers are aging. It is time for new blood at the highest levels and in support areas.”
With that, Kim Jong-il, the Chairman of the National Defence Commission of North Korea and son of the country’s first president, Kim Il-sung, announced major changes for the Juche, or Magic Kingdom as it is known. Kim removes himself from the Tender Rearing of the Young People’s Mind portfolio and announces he will be the new cabinet member for the new ministry of the Tender Rearing of the Young People’s Mind and Memory. Kim replaces himself in the important Economic and Video Shop department with himself. “We need better prices on video rentals of some of my best work,” says Kim. “Our people will now have a chance to see some of the award-winning films I have made – ‘Steamboat Willie’ and ‘The Mighty Ducks’ for instance. They have long been unavailable outside the palace.”
Spokesman and Chairman Kim also announced some new faces in the Supreme People’s Assembly, and by total coincidence, all seven are brothers.
New Health Care and Hair Conditioning chairman will be Doc, replacing Kim. Happy is the new commissioner of Public Parks and Spirit. Grumpy joins Kim as co-chair of the Offshore Protection Committee, while his brother Bashful takes the reins of the newly re-designed Internal Thoughts and Musings of the Eternal Leader department. New Environment and Protection of the People’s Air czar will be Sneezy; Dopey is the new speaker of the legislative assembly.
“It’s a small world,” concluded Kim, ” but all your dreams can come true, if you have the courage to pursue them.”