Mackay Confused

Control panel "really complicated"

Sep 16th, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Featured

Too dumb to fly

The Harper Government’s efforts to promote their extravagant purchase of new American Lockheed Martin F-35 fighter jets hit a stumbling block yesterday when Minister of Defense Pete Mackay failed to meet minimum cockpit cognition standards. A planned flight with the Minister has been canceled.

“He’s just too dumb to have in one of these planes,” said an unnamed Defense Department official. “Just sitting in the cockpit of the prototype he was overwhelmed by the sophisticated display of the control panel. He became confused and disoriented.”   However, officials from the Minister’s office said Mr. Mackay was merely “agitated”  by the hectoring and mockery of fellow Cabinet Minister Rona Ambrose.

“The worry is that subjected to a few ‘G’ s during a turn, what little blood is circulating up there could be forced out and he’d just start randomly pushing buttons and pulling levers.”

Mackay was scheduled to participate in a Parliament Hill flyover designed to give the media and opposition parties a close-up view of the jet prior to landing at CFB Trenton to address troops departing for Afghanistan.  A banner reading “Mission Accomplished” and sporting a Conservative Party of Canada Economic Action Plan logo was visible at the base earlier today in preparation for the photo op, but was later removed.

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