Oct 6th, 2010 | By Signor Blaine | Category: Arts

Transcript, courtesy of Katie Unitas, is from the CBC Radio flagship daily current affairs program Passé, hosted by Anna Maria Tremonti.


Hosted by Anna Maria Tremonti


ANNA: Hello and welcome to Passé, I’m your host Anna Maria Tremonti. Today on the show … the people of Manitoba have had enough. They say too many inmates should in fact be outmates, we’ll talk with a man about that. And, aging population, they say it’s a strain on health care, but is it really? We’ll speak with one person and one person only about that.

But first, prison overcrowding. Are the courts getting it right or are people just not getting their day in court? Joining us now is a man from Winnipeg.

Hello, sir.

MAN: Hello.

ANNA: So, what’s the deal here, why are there so many people in jail in Manitoba?

MAN: It’s not just Manitoba, Anna Maria. Prison overcrowding is a problem all across Canada.

ANNA: Aren’t you the man from Winnipeg?

MAN: Yes.

ANNA: Then how about we just stick to the facts. And step on it. Can you give us the Coles notes of this problem?

MAN: Absolutely. Well, a large number of people crowding our jails are simply on remand, there have been no convictions. Some people may even be innocent yet they have to wait in our jails for court dates. That can take up to eight months. But the law states that two months after your arrest you are allowed to demand a court date. And we want to see this process sped up so that the innocent people may return home to their families while those who are convicted can start serving their time rather than just waiting around for the red tape to break.

ANNA: Right. Could you give us the Coles Notes on the issue?

MAN: Excuse me?

ANNA: Have you ever been to Coles, sir?

MAN: Yes.

ANNA: It’s starting to look more and more like Chapters. I weep for the mom and pop stores, do you not?

MAN: I’m sorry-

ANNA: Don’t you just hate Americans?

MAN: Uh…

ANNA: Ok, sir, I’ve just received a condensed version of the gender biased answer you gave earlier, complete with pictures and rewards, so with all of this red tape and bureaucracy, isn’t it true sir that we are just keeping innocent people in jail?

MAN: Um. Yes, as I said, they have to wait, sometimes up to eight months –

ANNA: And what are you and your cronies in government going to do about it?

MAN: I’m not with the Government. I’m a part of an advocacy group.

ANNA: But isn’t ‘advocacy group’ just Tory slang for Empire?

MAN: Excuse me?

ANNA: Good-bye sir. Good luck keeping honest people down in Winnipeg. Well, we’d like to hear your thoughts on the corrupt Empire of Manitoba. Apparently there is a way to reach us on the internet.

Up next. Old people. Should we hate them like the government is telling us to or is there another side to this age-old old-age story?

Joining us now from The England is a woman.

Woman, Hello!

WOMAN: Hello, Anna, thank you for having me.

ANNA: How old are you, ma’am?

WOMAN: Uh…well, I’m not sure I am comfortable answering that question, older than 50, let’s put it that way-

ANNA: Permission to treat the witness as hostile?

PRODUCER: Sustained!

ANNA: Are you not in fact 68, madam? So let’s stop beating around the bush. Why does the government hate you so much?

WOMAN: Actually, I don’t think they do. What they are saying is that the aging population is already putting a 12 percent strain on Gross Domestic Product through health care demands and we won’t be able to sustain that kind of pressure for much longer.

ANNA: Why do you hate old people, Madam?

WOMAN: Uh, I don’t. I’m a senior myself –

ANNA: Well then may I say this sounds a little hypocritical? You may want to tell people you are a senior right off the bat from now on.

WOMAN: Anna, I am actually here to advocate caution in condemning the aging population for the strain on health care.

ANNA: Oh, I apologize. When I read that you were from The England I assumed you were American. But I guess you are from somewhere else.

WOMAN: No, not American –

ANNA: Woman, why do you think we don’t have to worry about the aging population?

WOMAN: Well, England worried about the same thing in 1936, but then it never proved to be true because the declining birth rate went up during World War II. So the imbalance of old versus young was corrected.

ANNA: World War II?


ANNA: 1936?


ANNA: Case closed. This is all the evidence I need. Those bastards in government trying to get us to hate old people need to know about this.

WOMAN: I don’t think they want you to hate old people-

ANNA: Yes, but something about the approach does feel a little draconian or at least American, does it not?

WOMAN: Not sure I’m qualified to say-

ANNA: Totally, I mean if I wanted to hear from George W. Bush I’d fart. Right?


ANNA: Woman, were you aware that I once farted on this show?

WOMAN: My goodness-

ANNA: Oh, I’m sorry, does that make me an old person? Should I be culled from the herd?

WOMAN: Perhaps it would help …

ANNA: Get a life, Woman.  Unbelievable. Ok, well that is all the time we have today, the long skinny hand is on the 1 and 2 number and the short fat hand is on the 1 and 0 number so I have to go. Tune in next week when we once again defend the defenceless.


With files from Paul Moth

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