Conservatives Seek Advice

But feel free to ignore it

Nov 26th, 2010 | By Paul Moth | Category: Politics
How to get a lover back

Prime Minister Steve Harper and his minions are reconsidering a plan to spread across the country like a cholera outbreak seeking “advice and opinions,” says conservative spokesman Dunning Kruger. Members of Parliament, deputy ministers, assistant deputy ministers, adjunct aides to assistant deputy ministers and receveurs des pets were to visit every riding in the country “feeling for national brain-wave patterns,” says Kruger.

“The PM wants to know what you think. Admittedly, this will have little impact on what the government actually does, but it’s nice to ask.”

That may be what the inside thinkers had hoped would be the case.

But a preliminary survey of questions and suggestions provided by voters from the districts of Humber-St. George’s-St. Barbe  and Kowitchykan did not meet the expectations of the PMO .

A catalogue of suggestions, advice and comments made to the Prime Minister and his Conservatives included:

Got any hot stock tips?;

Part your hair on the other side;

I throw my shoe at you;

The Beatles are so over;

Tell John Baird that if he doesn't stop shouting so much he'll never find a steady boyfriend;

Don't just talk about basketball and jazz music with Obama;

Shut down the CBC bunch of goddamn no good socialists from Toronto;

Is Maxime Bernier's old girlfriend seeing anyone?;

Danny Williams didn't say goodbye;

In the end it's just easier to tell the truth;

Why don't Jason Kenney and John Baird share an Ottawa apartment? ;

I went to school with Pierre Polievre and, like, he was really stupid;

Jim Prentice took a bunch of pens with him;

Diet time, big guy;

I throw my other shoe at you;

Bring our boys home from Alberta;

Can you do Please Please Me?;

Know anything by Christopher Cross?

“If Canadians aren't going to be positive and constructive there's no point in the exercise,” said Kruger, “so we are delighted at the turnout to these sessions, and at the probing inquiry Canadians exhibit,” he snickered.

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