Crazy Rose Front

Fight for the extreme right in Alberta

Nov 3rd, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Politics

The swing to the far right witnessed in yesterday American mid-term elections may soon be mirrored in Canada. Deeming both the Conservatives and the upstart Wildrose Alliance too liberal, a new political movement, “The Crazy Rose Front,” is gathering momentum in Alberta.

North Montana

“Harper has taken the Conservative Party of Canada left of the CCF,” said Crazy Rose founder, Reverend  Kensworth Peen. “The Wildrose Alliance still believes in the State and policing and currency. They’re just like the Liberals. Harper keeps but one wife.”  It has recently been noted that The Tea Party movement in the United States is informed by the notoriously deranged views of Albertan Cleon Skousen, but Peen dismisses Skousen as “soft on strangers”.

The Crazy Rose Front believes in no organization or social groups outside the church and family.  “Everything else is intruding on my rights!” said Peen. “Albertans are enterprising Christians. If they want a road or a latrine they can dig one themselves.  They don’t need Governments to do it for them.”

The Crazy Rose Front opposes standing armies. “The Military is just a tax grab and a place for gay boys to dress-up ,” say Peen.  The party advocates, instead, personal nuclear and chemical weapons. “Uranium is a 100% natural. God made Anthrax for all of us.”

Peen dismisses politics and politicians almost out of hand. “Their reward is in the next life, God have mercy on their sorry asses.” Peen says they will not even bother running candidates in Calgary.  “It’s Sodom.”

The Crazy Rose Alliance does not acknowledge the existence of Quebec or even the French language. “Bible came written in English,” said Peen.

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