Faith-based Carriers shake up airline industry

Easier security, in-flight meals expected

Nov 1st, 2010 | By Signor Blaine | Category: Business

One of thirty evangelical carriers

A special working group of the International Air Transport Association has ratified a study proposing the commercial airline industry realign itself along faith-based carriers.

“Our number one priority at IATA is security. Faith-based airline carriers are ‘the’ critical path for air safety,” observed Martin Neumach, chair of the working group. “Airports will be able to greatly reduce security protocols,” he added.

Under the proposal, which will be fully adapted by the airline industry in early 2012, passengers will be obliged to fly with other members of their faith. ‘Air Anglican’, ‘Catholic Charters’, ‘Buddhist SkyPath’, and ‘IslamiJet’ are some of the new carriers emerging from this realignment of the airways. Security clearance at airports will be reduced to “Level One – Hats” where only the inspection of headgear will be practiced.

“It’s a good move.” commented Jamit Kugol, an airline security analyst. “IslamiJet will probably be the safest airline in the world. The new regs will simplify the serving of in-flight meals as well.”

Kugol foresees other amenities. “In-flight service will mean not only meals, but religious ceremonies, too. There’ll be a chapel on one airline, maybe, prayer mats on another. Longer flights will feature retreats and seminars, short-hops will offer quality meditation time.”

People who do not practice a religious faith will be able to choose between ‘Agnostic Aviation’ and ‘Air Atheist’. The southern United States is expected to have as many as 30 regional evangelical carriers. “Dallas will be nuts. Just nuts.” predicts Kugol.

While flying has always been an act of faith IATA says it will frown on one-way tickets for all those religions positing a pending final judgment.

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