Gangs of New England

Tea Party Continues Tradition

Nov 24th, 2010 | By Signor Blaine | Category: Featured

A French researcher has released an academic paper on the predominance of crime in the American cinema which, she says, explains the sweep by the Tea Party in the recent electoral theater.

Founding Godfattahs

“America is a state founded on crime,” Elise d’Wryly commented at a presentation of the work titled “Gangsta: Le Cinematique Americaine ” at the acclaimed Ecole Nationale Supérieure des Métiers de l’Image et du Son. “America was founded on grand treason. A robbery.  The modern Tea Party is, how you say, continue this tradition.”

A letter by Benjamin Franklin, a postmaster who liked to open people’s mail, provided Mlle d’Wryly with a first account of the birth of the criminal state. The letter written to a French publisher shortly after the destruction of tea in Boston Harbour in 1773, famously re-branded as the Boston Tea Party,  gives new evidence of the act’s original intent.

“Sam [Samuel Adams] tolde me he desired much of the English commodities and silver in the colonie and hathe devised a skyrmishe to scare the Lords shytlyss into the mountaynes, or perhaps to New-found-land, so he cood maketh awaye with thyre riches. He neuer beleeved the dumping would prove to be so profitable. I am stucke in London and cannot get anie of the loote. Adams is a cunte,” wrote Franklin.

“Clearly, the original Tea Party was merely a diversion for a far greater crime, and the current Tea party continues this tradition,” d’Wryly excitedly pronounced. “And there will be many new American films casting criminals as the hero, because that is what the public wants to see. They want to see themselves celebrated in the cinema.”

d’Wryly stopped short of predicting stars or plots but her “belief in the Hollywood system and its cult of celebrity” is strong. Légion d’honneur recipient Jerry Lewis would be “the choice de tout le monde” for a leading role in any biopic of the Tea Party, then or now. “Imagine if you will, the great American actor Jerry Lewis in a serious role, directed by the great director Roman Polanski. Merde.”

– with files by Paul Moth

Share this!