Globe Meth Binge

Web designers crazed, or crazy like a fox?

Nov 2nd, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Arts

The web design team of Toronto’s National Newspaper went haywire on Friday, possibly the result of a methamphetamine binge?


“No one is denying or confirming anything,” said an unnamed source. “But there is unmistakable evidence that something went badly wrong in there on Friday.”

The pages being designed by the unit suddenly became incomprehensibly crowded and jumbled.  Persons trying to read or make sense of any of the effected pages reported disorientation and pain.

“It’s definitely a software problem or a design flameout,” said digital media consultant Petra Briar. “It can’t have been intentional, there were forces other than commonsense at work.  The editorial side of the operation has been shaky for years but the layout’s been reliable if dull.”

Some reports from inside the Globe, however, point to an experiment gone right rather than design gone wrong.

“The only people who didn’t get it are straight, ,” says Globe distribution editor Marla Pengely. “Demographics have told us that a significant proportion of our online readership is zapped. Meth-heads get the new design. And ADD [Attention Deficit Disorder] is our generation’s polio or whooping cough.  Everybody’s got it and this new form allows them to surf our paper inside each page. It’s a win win,” says Pengely, “Jesus, there are bugs all over me,” she concluded.

An unintentional consequence of the new Methed-Up design has been to make The National Post appear sane.  The Toronto Star retains its resolutely middle-brow approach to everything.  Sun chain papers had an infection picked up during breast augmentation surgery but still aspired to be a dental hygienist.

– with files by Paul Moth

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