Kenney Comes Too Soon

Minister urged to think about something else

Nov 17th, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: News

An over-eager Jason Kenney has caused strife in the Harper Cabinet by sending Pete Mackay a bouquet of flowers and a nice card as a going-away present.

Jason Kenney

The ambitious Kenney has long fancied himself a contender to succeed Steve Harper but has always been given worse odds than Jim Prentice or Mackay.  With Prentice's departure and rumours that Mackay was also shopping for a soft landing in the private sector, Kenney believed he had moved to the front of the pack.  URNews earlier reported, in error, that Kenney sent Mackay a bouquet of gladiolas with a card reading “Don't let the door hit you on the way o

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The zaftig, hirsute Kenney is thought to be alternately jealous of, and attracted to, the athletic yet delicate Mackay. Mackay has before made very public displays of his sensitive side, most famously by patting a dog when he was very publicly dumped by the heiress Belinda Stronach.

Mackay has made it clear that despite having to learn news of his department from Dimitri Soudas he has no plans to quit politics for a job at a Bay Street law firm.  There is no indication he is seeking employment in the Defense Industry. “That would stink too much,” said conservative spokesman Dunning Kruger.

Kruger also downplayed the event and the dissension in Cabinet.  “He just came down with the going-away present a little prematurely,” said Kruger. “No one can stay in Government forever … except maybe Steve Harper.”

Minister of War Pete Mackay is seeing a new girl.  Minister of New Conservative Voters Jason Kenney is thought to be a bachelor.

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