Lie To Us

Canadians most gullible people on earth

Nov 9th, 2010 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Politics

Canadians are the most gullible people on earth and are best governed by systematic deceit, says a conservative spokesman. “They aren’t interested in the truth. If they were, they would have wondered why we have already ordered supplies destined for Afghanistan that are to arrive after 2011.”

Peter Mackay

Dunning Kruger’s comments follow statements by Minister of War Peter Mackay that Canada’s mission would continue after the promised 2011 withdrawal date, but under another name. “Yeah, ‘training…’ whatever,” said Kruger.

Kruger confirmed that the current government of Canada’s pattern of telling the citizenry untruths was part of a larger strategy. “Your wife asks you if she looks fat in that dress, what are you gonna say?” said Kruger. “Canada asks ‘aren’t we still getting our troops out of Poopistan by blah blah blah?’ Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”

Kruger and the conservatives base their actions on a study recently released by the Penvery Research Centre. Avi Deng-Knevi, director of the program that investigated the gullibility of nations and co-author of the report Lies My Country Told Me, says Canadians “displayed an almost charming trust in whatever they were told.”

Citizens were graded on the belief they showed in statements made by the researchers. “This will only take a minute” before a series of questions that lasted ninety minutes; “This won’t hurt” after they had been knifed by a researcher and had the wound stitched without an anaesthetic; and “Mike Duffy was a fair and unbiased journalist with a  tiny shred of professional integrity that looked good in a bikini if you squinted hard enough”.

Dunning Kruger summed up the Government’s position saying, “There is no plan to shut down the CBC or rewrite the Canada Health Act.”

– with files by Carl Johnson and Paul Moth

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