Americans Alarmed by Harper

Darkly anti-American ads concern U.S. officials

Jan 18th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Politics

Another bizarre gambit.

New Conservative Party advertisements attacking Michael Ignatieff for having lived and worked in the United States and for saying complimentary things about that country are said to be “worrisome” to American officials.  Chip Butterfield III spoke for the U.S. State Department, “We thought Harper was, well, you know, one of us.  This strident anti-Americanism, it’s new.”

The ads also feature strongly worded attacks on democratic institutions, suggesting there would be terrible consequences if Canadians exercised their franchise and the parliamentary system functioned as it is designed.  “We are concerned. The current Canadian leadership is implying that the formation of coalitions by duly elected members of the House of Commons is somehow sinister. We would ask that Mr. Harper respect the will of the Canadian people.”

The production of the peculiar advertisements is the latest in a series of bizarre gambits by Canada’s cult-like Conservative Party.  The strange group mounted a full assault on reason last year when it tried to limit the Government’s own access to information by curtailing the census. “That was unusual, yes,” said Butterfield.

“We have received reassurances from Mr. Harper’s valet, John Baird, that the Conservatives bear the American people no ill will,” said Butterfield. “But I don’t have to tell Canadians that they aren’t a very trustworthy bunch.  The commitment could be as meaningful as their position on Income Trusts or Custodial Management of the Atlantic fisheries, or Senate reform or Carbon Emissions … hey, I don’t have to tell you.”  Butterfield conceded that U.S. officials “encouraged” the Harper regime to break its commitments on the withdrawal of Canadian armed forces from Afghanistan. “Sure, yeah, whatever,”said Butterfield.

Another ad in the series shows an increasingly isolated Harper aimlessly wandering the empty halls of the Parliament buildings at night and compulsively scribbling desperate and byzantine schemes to make the Toronto Maple Leafs, a pathological obsession of the Prime Minister, a .500 hockey team.

The Conservative Party of Canada governs with a minority and was endorsed by a mere 22% of eligible voters in Canada’s last General Election.

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