Costing a Canadian Police State

G20 tab for totalitarianism

Jan 8th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Lead Article

Astronomical costs and police misdeeds at the Toronto G20 summit have to be “considered in the context of turning Canada into a totalitarian state,” says conservative spokesman Dunning Kruger.

“It's true.  We now know better what it costs and what it takes to turn Toronto into a prison camp,” said a Ministry of Maximum Security official who refused to be identified. “While it may appear that nothing was accomplished, Canada is now much better prepared to bring down the hammer on the non-docile. Some of our unknowns are now knowns.”

The impetus to turn Canada from a liberal democracy into a totalitarian state and prison factory may not be driven primarily by political ideology, as some critics of the Conservative Party propose.  Effie Perine, an analyst who tracks politics for Canada's big banks, says it's more about no-nonsense economics.  “A less tolerant Canadian state is a bottom-line thing.  It's ultimately about remaining competitive.”

In addition, given

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plummeting crime rates from coast to coast, capturing ordinary Canadians through the kind of regular mass police deployment used at the G20 will be required to populate the vastly expanded prison system being built by the new conservative regime in Ottawa.

“We take no pleasure in incarcerating our citizens,” says Kruger.  “But frankly, it's great for the economy and will help with sagging morale in the conservative backbenches.”

Perine agrees.  “The warehouses are now in place.  What's needed is more inventory and steady turnover.”  According to Perine, the banks would like to see a 6 to 7 percent incarceration index – enough to send a signal to markets that Canada is on track for what brokers call “security growth”.

The Maximum Security official confirmed that this was the thinking behind the current government's “political corrections” approach.  “Police and prisons is win-win.  It protects our elite citizens and corporations because of the probability that some actual criminals will be detained in the random control sweeps, plus it makes them a shitload of money from prison building and procurement.”

Best of all for conservative proponents like Kruger is that mass political correction in a totalitarian context creates the right national mood for securing an affordable and compliant workforce.  “In the end that's what it will take to meet the Chinese Dragon head on and slay it.”

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