Little Known Canal Uncovered

The nose knows, but so does the bum

Jan 31st, 2011 | By Paul Moth | Category: Science and Technology

The secret back channel, a new nasal-anal link

Scientists have discovered a long-assumed but never proven link between nasal passages and anal passages, according to a report to be published in this month’s number of the medical journal Practical Proctology.

“This new sighting adds more information to our knowledge of the human body,” claims the report’s co-author, theoretical proctologist Dingus McGee. “We can never know enough about ourselves.”

“Reams of information are coming to light,” claims nasal therapist Arlene Morve, the other co-author, “and what were just popular aphorisms or light-hearted colloquialisms now take on more significance.”

Dr. McGee provided one example.  “‘You got your head up your ass’ now has more meaning, although it might more correctly be stated as ‘you got your ass up your head,’ but these things have a way getting arsed up as they get used in everyday speech.”

“The maxim that you should ‘never trust a fart’ now has a corollary,” adds Dr. Morve, “beware the anus-puckering sneeze.”

“Sternutation and flatulation have long been topics of wonder for humans,” says Dr.McGee, “and great sources of humour. We hope this discovery will explain much about the expulsion of irritants and particles from the body while opening new channels that can be cultivated for comedy.”

Self examination hand-mirror and funnel in hand “Laughter is the best medicine,” Dr. Morve concludes.

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