Taylor Was C.I.A. Stooge

Jan 2nd, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Lead Article

Ken "Doll" Taylor

The long held suspicion that Former Canadian Ambassador to Iran, Ken “Doll” Taylor was working for the Central Intelligence Agency has been confirmed. “This isn’t a surprise,” said Ahmed Halaba, Adjunct Professor of Middle Eastern Espionage and General Fuckery at the Conning Institute. “Everybody just assumed that Ken Doll was a Yankee Proxy. No one has believed the myth of an independent Canadian Foreign Policy for decades now, except for a few halfwit editorialists in Toronto.”

Other analysts concur that Canadian standing in the rest of the world is unlikely to be damaged by the revelation as Ottawa’s reflexive deference to Washington was taken for granted. Inside the Department of Foreign Affairs “Péter dans le vent”, Canada’s being a “fart in the wind” has long been an unofficial policy. “At least since Lyndon Johnson scared the poop out of (Lester) Pearson, we’ve followed the so-called “Péter dictum,” said a high ranking unnamed Foreign Affairs official. “(Pierre) Trudeau didn’t like the smell of it and acted up, but he knew that in real, day-to-day matters we were ‘in the wind’”.

“(Brian) Mulroney’s attitude was ‘roll down the windows and keep driving,’ and that been the working method ever since,” he concluded.

– Coco Cabrera

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