Reagan Centenary Evokes Memories of Mulroney

Canucks connect Gipper with Lyin' Brian

Feb 8th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Politics

"The important thing, Ron, is to keep lying..."

An entirely unscientific urNews survey of  people on the street, conducted on the eve of the 100th anniversary of Ronald Reagan’s birth, finds a Canadian populace deeply conflicted about the 40th President’s economic and geo-political legacy but unified in its loathing for the 18th Prime Minister of Canada, Brian Mulroney.

“All I can think about is that nauseating Mickey act in Quebec City,” said Byron Frenston of Brampton. “‘Irish Eyes Are Smiling’? Have we no self respect as a people?”

Wendy Georgino of Saskatoon was similarly preoccupied with “Old Whore” Mulroney. “I want my money back,” she said. “Can’t we take, like, a class action suit against this crooked operator and get back the $2.1 million we paid him for lying about his sleazy deal with Schreiber?”

“I guess Reagan sort of made trickle-down economics mainstream,” offered Peter Ballont of Halifax, “and destroyed the long term prospects for the United States in the process.”

“Reagan? I dunno, I think Iran-Contra, senility, failing infrastructure … oh yeah, and Mulroney,” lamented Jack Nestle of Toronto. “I was a card-carrying member of the Progressive Conservative Party of Canada before Mulroney destroyed it.  And thanks for Lucien Bouchard and the Bloc Quebecois, Brian, way to fuck up the country.”

The money Mulroney purloined from the Canadian people came up again and again. “Reagan I liked, affable dunce, until he let Mulroney get all chummy.  Did Mulroney ever pay back that $2.1 million dollars he got from lying about his deal with that Karlheinz dude?  What a piece of shit Mulroney is.”

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