Mackay Ordered Wrong Jets

Every Canadian Taxpayer on the hook for over $1000.00

Mar 11th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Business

Min­is­ter of Mil­i­tary Indus­trial Com­plex Pete Mackay is reported to be shocked that he has put Canada into Lock­heed Mar­tin for as much as $30 bil­lion for fighter jets the coun­try never wanted.  Min­is­ter Mackay thought he was buy­ing nine used F-34s for $16 million.

Oh shit.”

A Mil­i­tary Indus­trial Com­plex Min­istry spokesman defended Mackay. “There was a lot of tech­ni­cal gob­bly­de­gook, and it was a trade show,” said the lob­by­ing source who wished to remain anony­mous, ” so every­one had a few com­pli­men­tary cock­tails.  He got … con­fused.”  There are also reports that Mackay was rat­tled by the con­stant hec­tor­ing of Min­is­ter of Shutting-the-Fuck-Up Rona Ambrose.  Ambrose is said to have mocked Mackay’s inabil­ity to under­stand what Lock­heed Mar­tin pitch­men were say­ing. “Give Rona a break,” said the spokesman,“she’s not allowed to say any­thing  in the House that hasn’t first been writ­ten by the PMO.  A lot gets bot­tled up. When she gets out she tends to let fly.”

The Harper Gov­ern­ment is defend­ing the pur­chase, argu­ing that while it may be a case of Lock­heed Mar­tin hav­ing “seen Canada com­ing,” the coun­try can curry favour by lend­ing the jets back to Amer­i­cans if they have to invade Iran. The F-35 jets are known to be use­less in Arc­tic con­di­tions in any case.  “It’s not like the Russkies are com­ing over the top,’ said the spoke.man. “That kinda talk was just to give Canada a good scare and to change the chan­nel from the dis­cus­sion of  the cock-ups in Afghanistan.”

Unnamed PMO offi­cials are not con­cerned about any back­lash over the extrav­a­gant pur­chase. “At $30 billion it’s only going to cost each and every Cana­dian tax­payer a lit­tle over a $1000.00.  They’re good for it.”

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