Mackay Ordered Wrong Jets

Every Canadian Taxpayer on the hook for over $1000.00

Mar 11th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Business

Minister of Military Industrial Complex Pete Mackay is reported to be shocked that he has put Canada into Lockheed Martin for as much as $30 billion for fighter jets the country never wanted.  Minister Mackay thought he was buying nine used F-34s for $16 million.

"Oh shit."

A Military Industrial Complex Ministry spokesman defended Mackay. “There was a lot of technical gobblydegook, and it was a trade show,” said the lobbying source who wished to remain anonymous, ” so everyone had a few complimentary cocktails.  He got … confused.”  There are also reports that Mackay was rattled by the constant hectoring of Minister of Shutting-the-Fuck-Up Rona Ambrose.  Ambrose is said to have mocked Mackay’s inability to understand what Lockheed Martin pitchmen were saying. “Give Rona a break,” said the spokesman,”she’s not allowed to say anything  in the House that hasn’t first been written by the PMO.  A lot gets bottled up. When she gets out she tends to let fly.”

The Harper Government is defending the purchase, arguing that while it may be a case of Lockheed Martin having “seen Canada coming,” the country can curry favour by lending the jets back to Americans if they have to invade Iran. The F-35 jets are known to be useless in Arctic conditions in any case.  “It’s not like the Russkies are coming over the top,’ said the “That kinda talk was just to give Canada a good scare and to change the channel from the discussion of  the cock-ups in Afghanistan.”

Unnamed PMO officials are not concerned about any backlash over the extravagant purchase. “At $30 billion it’s only going to cost each and every Canadian taxpayer a little over a $1000.00.  They’re good for it.”

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