“It’s just been too much for our crack team to han­dle,” said URNews Head In Chief Elsworth Lun­dri­gan. “One Harper Gov­ern­ment scan­dal and bun­gle after another, and the oppo­si­tion par­ties look­ing on from the side­lines.”  Owing to a recent sur­feit of mock­able mate­r­ial URNews will be on a brief, tem­po­rary hia­tus in order that its team can be rested in prepa­ra­tion for the loom­ing Fed­eral Election.

Water Sports

The final straw came this past week­end with Stock­well Day’s announce­ment that he would not be run­ning for office in the next elec­tion.  “Stock was the very per­son­i­fi­ca­tion of today’s Con­ser­v­a­tive,” said Lun­dri­gan. “From the West, anti-intellectual, a patsy for Big Oil and Steve Harper.  See­ing him go and the Party falling into the hands of Ontario Mike Har­ris Con­ser­v­a­tives was just too much of a good thing.”

Key mem­bers of the URNews staff are said to be rest­ing in advance of blood trans­fu­sions in a clinic in the Swiss Alps.

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