Harper’s 10-seat “Fuck you, Danny”

Pathological need for vindication costs PM

Apr 3rd, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: News

Three stooges pact on custodial management of fisheries.

Steve Harper’s fuzzy promise to co-sign Newfoundland and Labrador loans to finance the Lower Churchill Hydroelectric project has cost the one-time Prime Minister at least 10 seats in Quebec and so, very likely, any hope for a majority government. Analysts have been baffled by the move but rumours persist that Harper was willing to risk it all just to get back at former Newfoundland Premier Danny Williams. Williams successfully ran an “Anything But Conservative” campaign in the last election that shut Harper out of the “Happy Province.”

“Harper wants to humiliate Danny Williams,” says University of Newfoundland Political Scientist, Art Dingle, “and he has done so by orchestrating a stampede of Danny’s former loyalists to the Federal trough.” Williams inspired absolute loyalty from his caucus, a network of backwater ward heelers and former educators, through threats and intimidation. “It is known that Williams is shocked,” says Dingle, “by how his former supporters have been tripping over one another in the rush to kiss Harper’s ass.”

The price of settling the score with Danny Williams, though, has been Harper’s condemnation in Quebec where politicians across the spectrum believe that Canada exists to serve them. “Pointing out that another province can export hydro is political death in Quebec,” says Trois Riverieres columnist Jacques Pepsi. “Also, it only reminds Quebecers that come 2040 they are going to lose the Upper Churchill power and will then be fucké”

While the spectacle of Newfies chasing a carrot might have been worth it to Harper, it seems to be doing little for those Harper collaborators that have returned from exile to carry the Conservative banner in the current campaign. “Retreads like Fabian Manning and Loyola Sullivan are perceived as the crassest sort of opportunists, even in Newfoundland,” says Dingle. “Everyone here just assumes their running now was a condition of the payoffs they got for selling out Newfoundland the last time around.”

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