Millions celebrate execution of that annoying Jesus guy

Apr 22nd, 2011 | By Heber Dolphy | Category: Featured

Apparently, a complete asshole.

Millions of Christians around the world celebrate this weekend the torture and execution of that annoying Jesus guy.

“Such a pain,” said Abe of Galilee. “Always going on and on…completely oblivious to anyone else.”

“Yes, totally” agreed his friend Matt. “You could never get a word in edgewise with that guy. He always had to hog the spotlight. And if someone else was telling a good story, he’d ruin it somehow.”

“Oh yeah,” said Abe. “Remember that party at Canaan? Some guy was telling a great story and Jesus was all like ‘Look at me, I made a bunch of wine.’ Idiot.”

Former friends think Jesus, who had at one time been a fairly shy and mild mannered carpenter, changed after being recruited to head the cast of the reality series “Jordan Shore.”

“He stopped coming around,” said estranged brother James. “And he was hanging around with the rest of the cast from that show – twelve of them – all douche bags with popped collars.”

“Frankly, when the Romans came looking for him, most people were like ‘Dude, he’s right over there. Go for it.'”

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