New Improved Harperbot Surfaces

Inventor commmited to Reform

Apr 7th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Featured, Lead Article

The inventor of the current Steve Harper robot, Professor Dr. Dr. Otto Hesse of Calgary, has issued a new and, he alleges, improved version. In a beta test of the new droid, Professor Dr. Dr. Hesse will run Harperbot 2.0 against the Prime Minister in his home riding of Calgary East Prussia.

New and Improved Harperbot 2 (right), and original (left). Resistance is futile

“The original robot was programmed for reform but, through wear and tear and predictable damage, the mother board of that bot is … how does one say in English … ‘funked’?”

The range of movement and the computational power of the new model are marked improvements over the original, but some cosmetic issues remain. Harperbot 2.o’s unrealistic hair still resembles the original. The smile of the original robot was never convincing and broke down completely just before the current election was called.  The eyes of the original Harperbot were screwed in too close to one another.  Costume spectacles have been attached to mask the feature that has been known to frighten children.

“This bot is a much better player piano,” says Hesse, “with a larger repertoire. We ran into some copyright issues with the last model.”

Professor Dr. Dr. Hesse quickly points out that Harperbot 2.0 is not perfect.

“Neither of the robots has passed the Turing Test yet, but Little Stevie as I call the new machine, should win  back some of our investment at ‘Jeopardy’ or unlimited Texas Hold ‘Em.”

The Turing Test was developed at the dawn of computerization to investigate whether a computer could fool humans into thinking it is human.

“The results of the coming election will tell us how close we are to realizing that goal,” said Hesse, “It’s looking good!”

– with files by Paul Moth and Heber Dolphy

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