Playboy Bacterial Woes Grow

In a warm, moist environment

Apr 21st, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Science and Technology

Miss April: "I like long walks, and thrive in warm, moist environments."

More bad news for visitors to the Playboy Mansion who became ill after using its hot tub. They may have contracted Skankadex difficile, an odoriferous  fungal growth of “the cracks.”  Following reports of flu like symptoms, the Los Angeles Health Department took samples from the water in one of the hot tubs at the Mansion and identified the legionella bacterium, the cause of Legionaires disease.  But now reports that visitors are also suffering burning and itching in any parts of the anatomy featuring folds, flaps of, or crevices in, the skin suggest an outbreak of Skankism.

“Once it gets skanky down there, it stays skanky,” says Dr. Judy Skonlon of the LAHD.

Rumours that Sun TV News host Ezra Levant had contracted Skankex difficile of the fundament from sharing anchor chairs at the upstart media pussyfart are without foundation.  (Female hosts, or Sunshine Girls, on Sun TV News do not wear undergarments as they may interfere with the transmission of right wing ideas from the womb.) Mr. Levant’s swollen, bloated appearance was, according to the report of an anonymous technician at Sun TV,  a function of “the wrong sort of lens being used on a fat man” rather than an infection.

Share this!