Sheila Fraser – Big Girl Detective

National Press Corps 'Amazed' by Auditor General's Sleuthing Powers

Apr 14th, 2011 | By Carl Johnson | Category: Featured

Once again Canada’s top fiscal cop has dropped a bomb with a report that shows how the Harper government spent at least 50 million taxpayer dollars on pork-barrel spending with bogus and illegal claims that it was for G-8 summit security.  Quite aside from the shocking news that has shot a lame Harper Conservative election campaign in the other foot, press and politicians are slack-jawed over Fraser’s keen ability to spot wrong-doing.

“I don’t know how she does it,” said Anodyne Press senior editor, Janet Mills.  “I think it’s her Scottish heritage.  Your average English or German backgrounded Canuck journalist would look at a billion dollar expenditure on a G-8/G-20 Toronto summit that they did in Pittsburgh for 8 million bucks and say, ‘well, give or take 992 million, sure, ballpark, I guess’ — but not Fraser.  She really knows how to count the pennies.”

Mike Sedelbauer, Canada Research Chair in Lacustrine Optics at the University of Muskoka, agrees.  “We had an Integrity Commissioner appointed by Harper who didn’t investigate a single whistle-blower claim of Conservative wrong-doing in five years so, logically, most of the experts saw that as evidence of a government with lots of integrity.  With Fraser, you get that extra level of scrutiny where, you know, she reads key documents.  I had dozens of research assistants working on this and they came up empty.”

Those who know Fraser are not surprised that the ‘Auditrix General’ can put two and two together.  Her friends describe how, at college, she would stay awake nights re-reading Nancy Drew mysteries, exclaiming “Aye, that lassie kens!” whenever the girl sleuth did some fancy dick work.

Liberals and New Democrats express awe at Fraser’s ability to document damning revelations, and refer to her as “Queen Sheila”, while a conservative spokesman for Minister of Porcine Opportunity, John Baird called her, simply, a “c#^t”.

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