Bringing hope to the stupid

A new one-step program aims to help idiots help themselves

Sep 15th, 2011 | By Heber Dolphy | Category: Featured

An innovative mutual aid program is bringing hope to the common-sense challenged around the world. Idiots Anonymous aims to help the millions who suffer from poor and ill-considered decisions, reckless and selfish acts, and, well, stupidity.

“This is really a hidden calamity across the entire spectrum of society,” says Lloyd Richmond, a recovering idiot who acts as a sponsor in the group. “It crosses class and race boundaries, and costs the economy billions every year.”

Unlike similar programs geared toward addictions, Idiots Anonymous has only one step. “More than one challenges the typical client too much,” says Richmond.

“Basically, it works like this: say you’re about to do anything out of the ordinary at all. You might be thinking about balancing the ladder on the sawhorse to get at the eavestrough. You might be thinking it a good idea to drop that frozen turkey into a barrel of hot oil, or get that fridge home from the flea market in the trunk of the car. You call your sponsor and describe your proposal. Nine times out of ten, the sponsor’s advice is our one step: Don’t Be Doin’ That.”

“Already today, I prevented Steve P. from running an extension cord to a board floating in his backyard pool so he could run the lava lamp. And Danny W. was about to slag his boss on Facebook.”

“Don’t Be Doin’ That. Works every time. Almost.”

According to Richmond, one is never “cured” of idiocy. But the overwhelming cravings to commit acts of stupidity can be managed with programs such as IA.

Share this!