Conservatives will now wear uniformOct 25th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Politics
The Conservative Party of Canada has decreed that its members will now wear uniforms. Rank and file members will be issued simple powder blue shifts and tunics, elected members will don vestments of “steely blue”, the highest orders of the party, Cabinet Members and party executive will be seen in the deepest hue of blue, a new colour being called “Righteous Cobalt”. (Exceptions are being made for Minister of Foreign and Unmentionable Affairs, John Baird, whose new outfit will feature gold piping and for the foul and corpulent Senator Mike Duffy who will be in a vast, circus tent sized mou-mou).
The Prime Minister alone will be allowed the “Mantle Ultimo” of a shiny black helmet and flowing black cape.
“It’s terrific for morale in a time when the capitalism we’ve believed in and defended is going down the shitter,” said conservative fashion maven Dunning Kruger. “And you know where people stand in the hierarchy. We aren’t about equality, remember. And the boss, he loves a man in uniform.”