CBC at 75

Government must decide

Nov 2nd, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Lead Article

FIRST PUBLISHED DECEMBER 9, 2010

At 75 years of age,the CBC has become forgetful and sometimes confused, forcing the Harper government to confront tough decisions about its care.

“It still thinks it can make programs and broadcast but it's old and very tired,” said Toronto media analyst Linda Scott. “Last week it thought it was farting but pooped in its pants a little.”

The episode embarrassed both the doddering old CBC and the Government. “The Government is in a difficult position. The CBC is obviously not competent but 24/7 care, in both languages, right across the country is expensive.”

The CBC spends much of its day rocking in a corner, reliving its glory days.  “Remember 'Rawhide?' said CBC.  “Remember when Air Farce was funny? No?”

“The CBC is from a two or three channel universe,” says Scott. “Now, out there on the information super highways, with hundreds of channels, it can get overwhelmed and become disoriented.”  It's a thought no one wants to contemplate but the CRTC may be as

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ked to take the CBC's license away before there is an accident. “With the winter coming,” says Scott, “some unpleasant realities like Village on a Diet and The National with Steven and Chris are going to have to be faced.”

“Lloyd Robertson, now there's a good looking fellow,” responded the CBC. “This young Peter whatshisname … not a patch on our old Lloyd. Whatever happened to Lloyd?”

Long past its earning years the CBC also finds itself strapped for cash.  It will not have the resources by 2014 to afford expensive programming like Hockey Night in Canada and will have to move into something smaller and more manageable.

Family and friends of Canadian broadcasting are said to be exhausted from supporting the CBC.  “They tried their best,” said Scott, “but there comes a point when you just have to admit you've done all you can.”

Ultimately the Government must decide how to let the CBC die with dignity. “Euthanasia is not an option for this Government, there would be public outrage,” says Scott. “But who would let a dog go on like this?”

Most experts agree it will take a Conservative majority government to hold a pillow firmly over the CBC's face as it sleeps. “With more privatized medicine,”  said Scott, “they'll be able to shop for a physician willing to say it was 'natural causes'.”

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