Globe’s Wente Crowned World Idiot of the Year

"Margaret, you ignorant slut."

Nov 7th, 2011 | By Carl Johnson | Category: Featured

Globe and Mail columnist Margaret Wente has won the coveted World Idiot of the Year Award given out annually by a panel of the world’s most powerful bigots and shitheads representing the International Planned Idiocy Federation.  The jury cited Wente’s consistent ability to heap withering and vitriolic scorn on the poorest and most marginalized in Canadian society, while artfully dressing up the right-wing hate propaganda as iconoclastic truth-telling.

High-profile columnist Trixie Snatchford, who won the award in 2008 for her reporting on Canada’s virtuous war for democracy in Afghanistan, which finally ended in glorious victory, said she was delighted for Wente, calling her a “spectacular idiot” who has done “a fantastic job of turning reality upside down in the interests of whatever agenda currently suits the most reactionary sectors of the national elite.”  Snatchford, who earns an exorbitant salary as a commentator for a large-circulation crypto-fascist Toronto tabloid, praised Wente as “a right-wing hag’s hag  — when the sleazy work of brutal misinformation and character assassination of defenseless scape goats needs doing, Margaret puts on the velvet gloves and leaves no marks.”

Head of this year’s jury, Austrian Leader’s Party leader Kurt Heimwald said at a press conference in Davos that the Idiot of the Year Award is given for lifetime achievement rather than a single piece of work.  “Year after year Margaret Wente has been able to maintain the highest standards of ethnic, ideological and gender stereotyping, entrenching idiocy as a respectable part of everyday life in a way that serves power.”  He did note, however, that Wente had particularly impressed the judges with a recent column that placed the blame for the current crisis of global capitalism on single mothers who were pursuing graduate degrees in the social sciences rather than throwing themselves at the mercy of the free market to earn a minimal living as prostitutes or garment workers.  “It’s hard to be more idiotic than that — and to get away with it in the pages of a mainstream, once-liberal newspaper is really an achievement.”

Heimwald also pointed to a column in which Wente launched a barrage of racist slurs against the people of Newfoundland, whose uppity leader, Danny Williams had dared to demand a deal from the major oil companies that would provide actual revenues and an equity stake to the province in return for the plunder of its offshore oil and contamination of its maritime environment in perpetuity (the companies, desperate for the oil, finally agreed to the deal).  He also praised another in which Wente was able to argue that homophobic hate-mongers were victims of a tyranny of human rights activists who wield extraordinary power in Canada.  He also had a good laugh about another column in which a Polak, a Newfie, a lesbian feminist and a Golliwog go into an affirmative action bar.  The list went on for some time.

Wente, a fierce critic of reasonable wages and benefits for working Canadians, earns in the range of $250,000 a year from the Globe and Mail for regularly serving up anti-union, racist, misogynist pseudo-thinking pop commentary that helps to legitimize bigotry and elitism in Canada.  The Globe prides itself on being one of Canada’s top employers and is known to provide excellent benefits and pensions to senior staff like Wente, a former editor of the paper’s Report on Business (or ROB) where she earned high marks from CEOs as an unusually accommodating sycophant and corporate cheerleader.

In her recent column attacking single mothers who study Sociology, Wente called the overproduction by Canadian universities of people educated in social, cultural and artistic specialties one of the most serious threats to capitalism at a time when only the elimination of basic labour rights and public services can create the deskilled and cowed workforce necessary for the continued concentration of wealth and power.  The shameless hypocrisy is classic Wente, who holds a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Michigan, a leafy liberal college for the pampered children of wealthy people, and an MA in English from the University of Toronto.

A friend of Wente who wished to remain anonymous explained, “What Margaret meant is not that select people shouldn’t study arts and social sciences, but that working-class single mothers in Sudbury shouldn’t have access to that type of education.  I mean, it’s a regional mining town — trade college maybe, or out hooking, but Sociology?  Like, since when is there a university in a place like Sudbury anyway?”

According to Snatchford, Wente’s success may ultimately be based on her appeal to the nostalgia of the Upper Canadian set for a time when Newfies and other coloured people knew their place, and no one got in the way of vigorous Bay Street men who earned a good dollar raping the country and copying Yank technology and exploitation methods.  “I mean, look at her call for more mechanical engineers — it’s so National Dream, so Hogtown Post-WWII.  We need more mechanical engineers?  In Canada?   In 2011?  It’s too good!  And she gets taken seriously, and wins awards.”

Wente could not be reached for comment, but a spokesperson at the Globe said the paper was proud to have another of its columnists recognized for their world-class idiocy.

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