Lucic hit draws conspiracy theories

Hockey world abuzz. Sort of ... it's these stars it keeps seeing

Nov 16th, 2011 | By Heber Dolphy | Category: Sports

Boston – Milan (“Fucking”) Lucic’s brutal hit on Buffalo goaltender Ryan Miller on November 12 has the hockey world talking. And theorizing.

The hit, coming after Miller had left the net and beat Lucic to a loose puck, has sidelined the goalie indefinitely with a concussion. Lucic, meanwhile, only served a two-minute minor penalty and yesterday escaped sanction from NHL disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan, even though the hit resulted in a concussion.

But Boston fans have been poring over the tapes and are skeptical Lucic even committed the foul.

“The photographic evidence is scanty at best,” says Finn O’Leary, an ardent Bruins fan, who, in his spare time, is a 9-11 Truther. Displaying a sequence of blurry screen captures from YouTube for URNews, O’Leary says it is “highly improbable” that Miller’s helmet flew off so dramatically from contact with Lucic’s “mere” elbow.

“In the frame preceding the ‘hit’, you can detect puffs of smoke coming from either side of Miller’s head,” O’Leary says. “We think that these were charges pre-set to blow Miller’s helmet off. There is no real evidence that Lucic actually touched Miller.”

Stan Mackenzie has another theory: it wasn’t Lucic at all, but another shooter altogether, who hurt the minder. “I’ve examined every frame of the film,” says Mackenzie, a retired pipe fitter from Lowell, “and I think Lucic was set up to be a patsy.”

“In frames 407 and 410, just to the right of the Buffalo bench, above the Enterprise rent-a-car sign, there is a white puff of smoke that I believe can only emanate from a rubber bullet gun. I’m convinced that is what hit Miller in the head and concussed him. And it could only happen on Lindy Ruff’s orders.”

Harold Warren, a life-long Bruin fan from Nashua, worries that “Fucking (Lucic) is being fucked over. I think he’s been set up by the mob.” Warren surmises “this city is just fucking fucked with Mafia, and there’s something about Fucking and the (Whitey) Bulger clan that I’m not too sure about. I mean, did you see that movie, the Manchester Candidate? I live right next door to Manchester. It’s fucking weird out there.”

Share this!