Heathrow Ideal Gateway to Games

Expect delays

Jul 23rd, 2012 | By Coco Cabrera | Category: Sports

Heathrow Airport

Heathrow Airport is the perfect “gateway to the Olympics” says London 2012 organizer Henry Struft.  “It’s horribly crowded,  features endless queues and is, in essence, a vulgar labyrinth of commercialism.”

Like The Olympics, Heathrow Airport is a vast shill misunderstood by the general public as having something to do with the state and the greater good.  “Most people do think airports are public property and operated by the Government to help its citizens travel. Likewise, very many people actually believe Olympics is about sport and not, as is the case, about advertising,” says Struft.

“Heathrow and the Olympics are all about myth making,” Struft explained.  “Heathrow is no more a major airport than the Olympics are a celebration of amateur athletics.”

Heathrow Airport is actually a system of corralling would-be travelers into a maze of overpriced shops.  Inadequate seating greatly increases the chances of someone paying too much for something they don’t need.

The London Olympics’  Wagner-meets-Kiss official anthem, “Survival” was originally penned after a four day wait, without food and water, at Passport Control.  Fittingly the third of the five rings, or more accurately “shackles”, of the Olympic symbol represents “futility”.

The other shackles represent “corporate stranglehold”, “the fundamental role of chasing a ball in the human experience”, “the enslavement of the host city” and “a deep hole”.  The five shackles are linked together to suggest a conspiracy.

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