The monster tube, with a diameter sixty four times that of the proposed Northern Gateway pipeline would convey massive quantities of completely unprocessed Canada directly to China through the center of the earth.
n a new study, a team of researchers has determined that only 11% of the Canadian population are paying attention to anything. “We originally set out to learn how the Ontario electorate would be making its decisions,” said Dr. Laura Vinkle, “but we discovered a profound lack of awareness of all things.”
Surveys and in-depth interviews with select subjects found that the overwhelming majority of Canadians were, most of the time, tuned out.
In a move criticized as pandering to voters and “dollar store retail politics” the speech from the throne will focus on dumb Canadians. “This is merely recognizing a social reality, ” said Unofficial Spokesthingy and Supplemental Electoral Spending Obergruppenführer Dunning Kruger, “and I dare the opposition to get up on their hind legs and try to deny stupid citizens the rights enjoyed by pointy headed book-learned elites.” Among the legislative initiatives aimed squarely at the witless Canucks are consumer […]
Reversing the disastrous course taken by drafting the academic Michael Ignatieff to lead their Party, a bunch of old Liberal hacks have decided to roll the dice and “go dumb” with the son of a former Prime Minister and nice haircut Justin Trudeau. “The Conservatives have had some success with real morons,” said Liberal Party official Hubert Kickback. “Look at Peter Mackay. And tell me if Peter Kent’s I.Q. breaks the double digits.” Political analysts put the […]
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FIRST PUBLISHED DECEMBER 9, 2010 At 75 years of age,the CBC has become forgetful and sometimes confused, forcing the Harper government to confront tough decisions about its care. “It still thinks it can make programs and broadcast but it’s old and very tired,” said Toronto media analyst Linda Scott. “Last week it thought it was farting but pooped in its pants a little.” The episode embarrassed both the doddering old CBC and the Government. “The Government is in […]
Democracy, the big “D.” It is all about the representation of the people, through their franchise, in the Government of the land. The legitimate victor in the current contest should be the one that best reflects Canada. So before we endorse one candidate or another, let us take account of just who and what Canada is at this moment. Canada is prosperous because it is thinly populated and chock-o-block with natural resources. Our economy isn’t […]