Politics

Calgary Wind-Up Moved Ahead

Aug 2nd, 2015 | By Coco Cabrera
Calgary Wind-Up Moved Ahead

Long standing plans to wind-up the temporary city of Calgary have been moved ahead by more than a decade because of the collapse of the Alberta oil industry.

“Calgary was always a short-term proposition,” says Arnold Sunderland of the Federal Government’s secretive Division of The Plan. “There was never going to be any water for the place once the Bow Glacier melted away, so there was natural limit on its duration.”



Capitalist Fever

Jun 27th, 2014 | By Coco Cabrera
Capitalist Fever

The monster tube, with a diameter sixty four times that of the proposed Northern Gateway pipeline would convey massive quantities of completely unprocessed Canada directly to China through the center of the earth.



Only 11% of Canadians Paying Attention

May 23rd, 2014 | By Coco Cabrera
Only 11% of Canadians Paying Attention

n a new study, a team of researchers has determined that only 11% of the Canadian population are paying attention to anything. “We originally set out to learn how the Ontario electorate would be making its decisions,” said Dr. Laura Vinkle, “but we discovered a profound lack of awareness of all things.”

Surveys and in-depth interviews with select subjects found that the overwhelming majority of Canadians were, most of the time, tuned out.



Have you ever committed a "Microduffy"?

May 16th, 2013 | By Heber Dolphy
Have you ever committed a

GENEVA – Political Scientists believe they are close to codifying a system of measurement for public corruption. At an international symposium here Wednesday, they have voted to name the prime unit of corruption after Canadian Senator Mike Duffy. “The great thing about the Duffy is that it is so measurable,” said Dr. Felix Graves, chair of the nomenclature committee. “His malfeasance is minor, really – cheating on expense claims – but the quantity of funds is […]



Rob Anders Gets Nostalgic

Nov 1st, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera
Rob Anders Gets Nostalgic

“Who knew the centrists and liberals would roll over so easily,” said the source. “Maybe Canada was Rob Anders country all along.”



Blue Shirts

Oct 25th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera
Blue Shirts

The Prime Minister alone will be allowed the “Mantle Ultimo” of a shiny black helmet and flowing black cape.



Coup Planned for Queen’s Park

Oct 7th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera
Coup Planned for Queen’s Park

“You can definitely still see the old donkey in Timmy, “



The Minister’s Transport

Oct 4th, 2011 | By Heber Dolphy
The Minister’s Transport

Officials of the Department of Defense and the Prime Minister’s Office refused to comment on this story, saying only that the Minister was traveling on business aboard a replica of the Hindenburg constructed entirely of the Minister’s business cards.



New “Royal” Designation

Sep 19th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera
New “Royal” Designation

Records show that Nadumfyck used bombing runs conducted by F-16 s of the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha Luftwaffe (formerly the Canadian Airforce) to clear brush at his cottage



Western Believership Rejects Hudak

Sep 6th, 2011 | By Coco Cabrera
Western Believership Rejects Hudak

“I even nibble on a banana and my wrists and ankles swell up. And my great great grandfather was supposed to be a monkey? I don’t think so.”