“In the frame pre­ced­ing the ‘hit’, you can detect puffs of smoke com­ing from either side of Miller’s head,”

“Our mod­els can­not account for the fail­ure of the Toronto Maple Leafs, say, not mak­ing the play­offs even though they rank in the top quar­tile of salary out­lay,” admits Lawiki.

“Ani­mals and pets are peo­ple, too,” says Hound, “we want respect accordingly.”

Gon­za­les has come to the plate hold­ing his huge, engorged penis as a bat. He also has taken to eat­ing live chick­ens and ants between innings

“We’ve had enough,” shouted Alan Baird, a fan sport­ing a vin­tage Maple Leafs jersey.

“With us, on the other hand, every sin­gle mem­ber of our asso­ci­a­tion has taken one to the head for the team a few times arcmn frrr qingmnmn.”

Some feel this is a sad day for sports, but in real­ity it’s a great day for cable.

Tak­ing advan­tage of weak-minded peo­ple who cheer for Toronto teams

Con­ster­na­tion at the dis­re­spect the Texas Rangers have shown for tradition

The Prime Minister’s Office will not deny that it is poised to draft and intro­duce leg­is­la­tion to make the play­ing or watch­ing of hockey an oblig­a­tion of Cana­dian citizenship.